Honesty time. I often automatically compare myself to my peers. It’s hard not to sometimes, when you see people around you doing so well, working in high paying dream jobs, creating businesses on their own, living out a house that shouts #roomgoals and having what seems to be picture perfect relationships. And then there’s you. Somewhat lost, somewhere in between feeling like a little kid but trying to fake it as an adult who got their shit together.
It’s daunting because you feel you should have your life figured out since you have already graduated from college or university, and you always expect yourself to be working in your dream job, living the life you always wanted. But turns out you are lost, unsure of what you want. You even dread the question, “where do you see yourself in the next 5 or 10 years?” Because no, you do not even know where you will be next month, what more about 5 years into the future?
If you are freaking out about not knowing what you want in life, take a deep breath, and read on to know why it’s perfectly okay.
1. There is no set timeline for life.
As much as idealistic it sounds, but there is no rule that you must be at a certain point in your life in your twenties. The truth is, there are no rules that you need to be anywhere in your life no matter how old you are.
This is a great time for exploration and experimentation, trying new and different things, having fun throughout each process without bigger responsibilities and commitments.
Take this time to enjoy the privilege of doing different things and finding what appeals to you. This is supposed to be a time for you to live life just the way you want to. Go out and live fearlessly, take a few wrong turns, get your heart broken, make mistakes and learn from them.
2. Stop comparing yourself to anyone.
One of the biggest confidence killers and sources of self-loath often comes from comparing yourself with others. You look at your peers and where they are, you start to question your accomplishments, your successes and it gets stressful. Here’s the truth. The grass will always look greener on the other side. You might be envious of the life they live, but they might look at you and wish they had what you had.
Stop focusing on comparing your life with anyone. Seek inspiration from others instead. Be inspired by what others do, and encourage each other to achieve your dreams. This will create a much healthier bond between you and your friends, and make you feel less stressed out about not knowing what you want in life.
3. Nobody has life completely figured out.
Inspiring talks by celebrities and world leaders and influencers seem to tell their story in such a way that they always seem to know what was their purpose in this world. But what we don’t know is that they are only telling us the good parts. Just like movies and inspirational stories, we always only hear about the good endings. But what we don’t know is the frustration, the doubts and disappointments these people face too. Nobody has life completely figured out.
Some may do it better than others, some may find their passions earlier than others, some are more determined and willing to focus on one specific thing, while others may enjoy exploring different things while learning new skills.
We are all made up differently. But ultimately, remember that nobody has their life completely figured out, and you should just enjoy the journey of trying different things.
4. Stop focusing on the ideal destination.
Another reason you may feel crappy about not knowing what you want is because you have an expectation to be in a certain specific place you want to be in life. Take each day as it is, trying your best to face your current challenges, enjoying each moment.
When things get difficult, stop hoping for it to become better. Do your part to make it the way you want it to be. Don’t wait for situations and environment to change. Be the change you want to be. Do the things that makes your present lightly better than before. This way, you will not be worrying on figuring things out in the long term, but making whatever you do more meaningful and fulfilling.
Before I end this post:
It can get really nerve-wrecking when you don’t know what you are doing in life, or what you ultimately want to do in this lifetime.
But remember, we have a lifetime of opportunities ahead of us. Take this moment, to embrace life’s uncertainties, because that opens limitless possibilities for us. Embrace this time to live fearlessly, doing anything and everything you ever wanted to, and enjoy the ride.
It’s time to embrace living fearlessly and unapologetically.
If you have any thoughts or feelings on being lost at this point of your life, do share it below and we can inspire each other further.