I find myself running here again when I am in need of a little headspace. So here I am.
I wanted my next post to be a proper full-length post, and possible another ghostbuster challenge to add on, but my head has been all over the place and yet I still feel like writing something.
The past two weeks have been incredibly busy. Ever since my last post, I have been really busy juggling what seems like a million things at work. It is indeed how I imagined it to be… Crazy fulfilling. I wake up each morning thinking about what needs to be done. I brainstorm ideas when I am in the shower. I come home to reply emails because I do not have enough time in that 8-hour span at the office. And I think my conversations with people regarding the “how have you been?” question has been all about work.
I am not complaining at all. I love it. When I get tired and exhausted, and especially just a few days ago, when I had to nurse a flu, I did feel the pressure. The pressure of not being able to deliver. But all in all, despite everything, I secretly enjoy it (or maybe not so secretly as I am gushing while I write this). I love the extra responsibility. I love the rush I get when I see things I envisioned coming together. Oh, and on top of it all, I found this special corner at my office that I have been running to for the past week! The table faces the wall in this quiet corner which increases my productivity so much it makes me feel like I am almost riding on a high as I slowly work my way through my daily tasks. I call it my “naughty chair”. But really, it is my little sanctuary.
All in all, things have been piling up, but very accomplishing.
However, I realized as my plate was filling up to almost a double of what I used to do, I am also letting certain things slip my mind. There are no excuses for such things I know that; and when I realize mistakes I made, I am most mad at myself. I do not like admitting defeat; and definitely, do not like not being the best I can be. I think what frustrates me the most is I am wondering, “how in the world have I have missed that out?!” or “how could I even not remember to attend to that?!”
It took me quite a while, and talking to people more experienced than me, to realize that mistakes WILL happen. Often when we have more things that we are responsible for, we are opened to even more possibilities of making mistakes. This is the learning curve. This is how you stretch your own abilities.
Mistakes is not something that should be encouraged, per se, but it will happen. I was very, very frustrated at myself, even up till now, to be very honest, the mistakes I have made recently are still at the back of my head. But whining and overthinking is not going to help.
I needed to buck up and deal with it like an adult.
I decided to accept the fact I am not a superhuman. I cannot remember everything, especially while juggling so many different things.
But what needs to be done is to learn to be more organized. It is time to not procrastinate on any tasks. It is time to write EVERYTHING down and work through it one by one. After listing everything that needs to be done, I am committing myself to give a 100% attention span on each and every task. Usually, when I am doing something, my mind often wanders off to another thing which I remember I must attend to, and that makes mistakes more bound to happen because I am not fully concentrating on what I am doing. But right now, there is no capacity for me to let anything slip. I NEED TO STICK TO MY SYSTEM.
I feel this post is more of a “note to self” because as I write, I am reminding myself again and again and again.
There is a lot going on right now, so there is no time to make excuses or stress out about things I cannot undo. So the only way to it all is to grow. The only way is to stretch myself to learn as many things I can in the quickest way possible, and take this as my climb. Take a deep breath. You Got This!