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It’s The End of 2019. Your Free Trial is Over.

When is the latest one can share a reflection on a year that has already passed? Since I like to see the past week (with just 2 working days) as a “trial run” for the new year, I am telling myself this post will still be relevant.

With me staying in bed most of the day on Jan 1st because of a sudden fever and flu that came out of nowhere when I woke up, and thankfully, as dramatic as it came, it is pretty much 90% recovered by now.

To be honest, I am writing this with literally no plan in my head as to where this will go. Well, I guess in my efforts to stick to my commitment to get back into writing (other than work stuff), I am just going to get the ball rolling.


Recap of 2019:

If I had to sum up 2019, I guess I would say it felt like a “trial run” of many transitions. Often times, it felt as if I did not know what I was doing, but throughout the year, it also felt as if I was finally getting a footing as to what I should be doing and what was important to me (and of course, what was not).

WORK –

It was the year I finally changed department in my workplace and was able to do what I created – Crunch, full-time. Never would I have thought it could happen, especially in such a short time. And even up until now, sometimes right before I fall asleep, or when I am overwhelmed by work, I am reminded by this opportunity, and I cannot help but feel immensely grateful.

This year, Crunch finally become a proper product of Nuffnang. It is something that still feels so surreal, and being able to work on it with my trusty partner, Meagan every day, is indeed a dream.

Don’t get me wrong, there were days when I questioned myself for my decisions or days when I genuinely did not know what to do and many, many, MANY other self-doubts/imposter syndrome moments, but seeing it bloom and grow slowly but progressively, brings so much pride to me.

MORE WORK –

In 2019, I also took on quite a large project doing freelance copywriting, transcribing and writing articles with my ex-boss, which was took up a huge chunk of my time, but also thought me how to manage my time, and enjoy the adrenaline and sense of accomplishment as I squeeze everything into a workday night. It was such an experience and I am so grateful I get to do that as well.

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT –

In terms of actual new skills I learned or smart insights I have found, I regret to say that there is none I can specifically think of.

Just a quarter of my plant babies!

But in 2019, I spent a lot of time getting into a routine that I want to build for myself. I spent a lot of time making food myself (to which I actually find so much pride and peace in doing, it feels great to be able to just “take care of myself”), making my home as cosy as possible (I finally got a proper desk in my efforts to do more substantial things like work and writing at home), building my plant family, workout more (although it was still not as consistent as I would like it to be) and tried to wake up earlier to have a proper morning routine.

My newly built desk so now I can do work without crouching on the floor.

Honestly, it seems pretty mundane, but I think throughout the year, I built routines around my life that makes me feel really content. Really though, as I continue to grow older, the more I believe in the beauty of a cosy and peaceful life. Crazy highs are overrated.

RELATIONSHIPS –

Another thing that I felt was a very peaceful and “safe” constant in my life – the people around me. I used to think, Oh I don’t have many friends, or I don’t belong to a clique etc… But in this year, I truly embrace the notion of having close friends and family and that is really all you need.

My family has always been so unconditionally supportive as I go about and chase ambitions, to which I cannot express my gratitude enough. My parents would do anything they can to show me their love and care, even if they cannot be geographically near. My boyfriend has been there to keep me grounded while believing in me so much it makes me believe a little more in myself, and the wise person I can turn to when I lose my direction. My few close friends (you know who you are!) have trusted me to share parts of their lives with me, while always being genuinely caring towards the ups and downs of my own life.

Really, there is nothing more I can ask for. 2019 was yet another amazing year. Sure, there were a few things I wish I did more or some bad habits that I wish I quit, or decisions I made that were not the wisest, but despite it all, it was pretty darn awesome.

HERE’S TO 2020:

When I say 2019 felt like a “Free Trial”, its because I feel I have not pushed myself enough, and I was sort of waddling through things and going on a lot of trials and errors.

My resolution for 2020 is to sharpen my mindset, narrow down what is important to me, and commit to 100% focus towards it. This means being wise about my choices as to what I spend my time and effort on.

I feel that previously, I often time set resolutions to “work harder”, but without facing the fact something else needs to be sacrificed. So a good reminder I want to bring into the new year is to fully commit to what serves me and learn to let go of what does not.

I am really excited for 2020 to be honest. It’s a year where I want to make it happen and propel forward in the things that mean the most to me. It’s a year I want to spend more on self-reflection and proper planning. It’s the year I want to spend more quality time with the people that I love.

As cliche as every other new year posts, I am bright-eyed, enthusiastically ready for what comes in 2020!

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